Saturn Returns....

I'm guilty. I have been obsessing over this phenomena that occurs to everyone at this point in our lives between 28-30, that, according to astrological charts and experts on the topic, it's when the planet Saturn has completely orbited around the sun (29.5 yrs) to the exact moment that you were born. In a brief explanation that i found out there on the "inter-web", you can draw your own conclusions about what it means and what it represents.

www.saturnreturn.net

Since I had heard of this event, right before I turned 28 last year, I was so scared of what the challenges hold ahead of me. But, I quickly became a believer in this strange and odd universal event. Right about the time of my birthday, my biological father had contacted me for the very first time in my entire life. That would set off a series of events for the remainder of the year that would forever change my relationship with the universe. My fiancee and I split right before our wedding was to take place and, untimely as the next event was, i was not prepared for the news that i received about his mother succumbing to terminal cancer. This was all in a matter of months that these events were happening. But during all this change, I had made up my mind that I was going to prevail.

This week, Heath Ledger, the actor, passed away in his home unexpectedly at the age of 28. He was a very gifted actor. I hate saying was because his work still lives on, so I'll say that he is an incredible actor and artist. But, of course, too young. He leaves behind a young daughter of 2, and his former partner, Michelle Williams, that I'm sure cared for him deeply. My condolences go out to their families at this time of hardship. It's crazy to say things about people in the public that you only knew through their work, but that feeling of loss is still relevant. It has weighed heavily on my mind this week, and I never even shared the same space physically with this person. But you know and feel the impact that they had on so many peoples lives.

Some say that during this transition time in our lives, we can/will experience tremendous challenges and obstacles that rarely ever result in death. As much speculation has been made about this persons' personal life, he is still someone's brother, son, father, and friend. No one of us is better than the other. Which has led me to posting these thoughts today. I have strong feelings about the changes that are going on all around us. In life and death.

Although, most hands that the universe deals us, happens for a reason, and I also think that there are great lessons to learn from loss, as painful as it can be, there is beauty waiting on the other side...

First comes love......

So,it's fucking friday, that means, tomorrow is Saturday!!!
I'm in love with my weekends. I am going to finish this book that i started last Sunday that's all about sex and debauchery, oh yeah, and of course ART!!! It's called Chinese Takeout and it's written by Arthur Neresian, he wrote "The Fuck-Up" which is hilarious, one of my favorites. I find myself sounding a lot like his characters that are made up of colorful folks that experience life at 80 mph. Really fast, and witty.

Sleep deprived...2 be cont'd....

I'm actually on about less than a hour of sleep right now, waiting for the day to let up so i can gleefully rest my locks on a pillow, with my name all over it! I had the worst case of insomnia that i have had in months. Ironically, Rudy called me last night and while it was still a decent hour...11pm...i told him i'm usually asleep by Midnight or 1 at the latest...well,i was up until 5am!!!! only to be up by 6:30am....yeah, thanks alot Rudy! you fucking jinx'd me! Wanker!

love,
b.

in the shower...hit repeat...

Keep Looking Lyrics


when my Ex and i broke up last year, these lyrics kept playing in my head, so much that it felt like she was prophetically telling me something that i needed to hear....hummm, interesting....

Traveling without moving....

This is one of the things i love best about having a place to call home, it's when visitors call me up and wanna come and spend the weekend/week with me and all my loveliness. Rudy is coming down from Michigan next month before heading off to Japan for a two year stint with his job. I'm excited to see him, it's been about 5 months since we kicked it like rock stars at my hangout, but we keep coming up with creative ways to figure out how to become real rock stars. He's into the same music as i and we call each other up late at night to brag to the other one what new music we heard...it's ridiculous really, but we are addicted to each other musically and i love it! I can't wait to visit Japan next year, it's going to be nuts! I already booked my trip and have about 40 places lined up that i have to see. I have a friend that lived there for 5 years and told me about these wicked little vending machines that are corner liquor stores...LOVE IT!!! You can have it your way in Japan. I wish i had more Japanese friends, but i'll leave that up to Rudy to do that over there for me!! Domo Eragato!!!

Hello you!

Hi!
I know i said this about a thousand times before, i will do a blog....so far, it's been about two years and Nil. So, as my resolution to myself and this upcoming year, i plan to devote sometime to keeping up with my own words. I have had a very interesting last 345 days. I was engaged for 3 years to who i thought was my soul mate, turned out he was just a playmate..hehe. But this last year brought about some changes that I needed. It was a rough start to a 2007, the rest of the year fared simply..ok, nothing to predict what this new year could quite possibly mean to this twenty something from the midwest, but suffice to say, it could be that this year will be more explosive as the one before. I could go on and on, and i will, but for now i will just pray the the literary gods are looking down on me and blessing me with the courage and strength to keep this up. *fingers crossed*. So, if you read this far, you must want a peek into this sometime ridiculous, yet amusing life, quilted with stories of life and friends,oh you know, the usual vague vestiges in the cycle of life. Oh, and let me not forget that i do have some major plans for this year of utter importance. YES!, i finally will be exiting my oh so treasured 20's, and trading it in (happily) for a more wiser and sophisticated looking 30! It's gonna be a scorcher!!